Sunday, January 03, 2010

New Year's Rezzalooshuns for 2010

In 2010 I...
...will not refer to art I don't like as "fecal matter"...especially in the company of the artist.
...will prove everyone wrong.
...will not wipe boogers on people at art galleries.
...will do everything in my power to make obnoxious people uneasy.
...will laugh and point at any middle aged woman that tries to dress more hip than their teen age daughter.
...will not roll my eyes as much.
...will sigh audibly more.
...will make new friends that I can alienate in new ways.
...will smack anyone in the back of the head that I suspect is wearing a bad hairpiece.
...will find beauty in things that are ugly...like your Mama!
...will not care about what people that don't matter think.
...will not visit websites that hijack my speakers with music and sound effects.
...will eat healthier by dining only on vegans and Peta supporters.
...will petition for the return of government cheese.
...will be nicer to stupid people by referring to them as mildly retarded.
...will be nicer to mildly retarded people by referring to them as Twilight fans.
...will not be nicer to Twilight fans.
...will not prance through Wal-Mart wearing a pink top hat yelling "Has anyone seen my giraffe??"
...will overcome my fear of orange emery boards.
...will not listen to people who do nothing but bitch and moan about politics.
...will not poke homeless people in the eye with a stick.
...will make up more boring and pretentious stories about my art.
...will not paint as many zombies.
...will not come out of his shell because it is there for a reason.
...will drink more.
...will paint more zombies.
...will care more.
...will act as though I care more.
...will find more ways to fit the word "sphincter" into casual conversation.
...will not stick pro-KKK stickers over "Coexist" bumper stickers...well, not as much.
...will punch more hookers.
...will not berate toddlers in Starbucks.
...will stop sticking the wrong end of the paintbrush in my mouth.

This is how I'll be making myself a better person in 2010. What will you do? Because God knows you need to do something.
Billy

2 comments:

Emily said...

I will not let disparaging comments from art professors about my art get me down. (If they were such great experts on how to make a living on art, then why are they teaching at a state college?)

I will pay more attention to comments and constructive criticism about my art from customers who buy art and fellow artists who sell art successfully (like you, for instance). (they are the ones that truly matter!)

I will strive to become more independent.

I will paint more miniatures!

I will draw more.

I will paint more canvas! (both oil and acrylics)

I will get over my shyness and start showing my portfolio to other artists to gain constructive criticism.

How about those rezzalooshuns? Not as funny as some of yours, but I wouldn't even try being funnier, I'd fail!

billy tackett said...

Those are perfect and are more inspirational than mine!
B