We Love Logistics...

...but have an unhealthy aversion to logic!

An overview of a 40 minute conversation I just had with four different operators at UPS:

Me: I need the building I just bought and am living in to be switched from a commercial address to a residential one.
3rd UPS operator: It's listed commercial.
Me:I know. It was a commercial building for many years. It is now where we live
UPS: Do you have a tracking number so we can investigate it?
Me: Are you telling me you can't change the address until someone ships something to me?
UPS: Correct
Me: xxxx-xxxx-xxx The package is actually a ceiling fan for my living room

UPS: The tracking is showing it's a commercial address
Me: I know! I need it changed!

2 minutes later....

4th UPS operator: I need a tracking number so we can investigate
Me: I can tell you it will show commercial. I need you guys to change it.
UPS: We have to investigate it.
Me: Can't you just switch it?
UPS: No. we need the tracking so we can investigate it. In 3 to 5 days we will send you an email confirming whether it is commercial or residential.
Me. I don't need you to confirm anything. I know it's residential and I know you have it listed as commercial. I need you to change it!
UPS: Our team will get with you in 3 to 5 business days. Can I help you with anything else?
Me: Yes. Can you get me the number to FedEx?